Transitions to a new website is sort of like moving to a new home it gives us a chance to look at old things and think about where we’ve been and what we have came through. I hadn’t thought much about this post I wrote on a personal blog until I was deciding if I wanted to carry it over, and when I read it I realized this message still holds true today as it did in February 2010.
What is the hardest three word phrase in the English language? “I love you”, “I want you”, “I need you”, “Help me please”, and my personal favorite “Give me money.” Well if you chose any of one of these five I sadly must tell you that you are wrong. Sorry thanks for playing, and feel free to try again. In all honesty the three hardest words in any language is “I Forgive You,” the reason I feel that these are the hardest three words to say is that it is completely contrary to our basic human (i.e. sinful) nature. There is an old adage that goes “to err is human, to forgive is divine” and it is so true. The ability to forgive is a divine ability, and can only be fully experienced through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit that all true believers in Christ experience.
I wish I could say that as a preacher I have mastered the ability to be able to forgive, but I must in all reality say that I (like everyone else) struggle with this from time to time (ok in reality all the time). I became painfully aware of my deficiency in this area last week. On Wednesday February 3rd, 2010 was reading the online headline for the newspaper where I finished Middle, High School, and College when I glanced over an article about a fatal wreck involving a Jeep and a Nissan. When I say the photo of the mangled car a chill when down my spine, and I felt that something had happened to someone I know. To be honest I didn’t think much of it next day as I was busy with a myriad of other things, James’ special star of the week lunch, Noel’s return from her business trip, and getting things ready for Noel’s surprise party. Around 6pm that evening I was getting ready to leave and sat down at my desk to shut down my laptop. A quick check of my Facebook account revealed that I had a message in my inbox so I figured I would check it real quick in case it was a last minute RSVP or cancelation. However, it was neither a friend of mine had written to tell me that a man whom I had been friends with for over twenty-three years had died, and it turns out it was in that automobile accident that I had read about the previous day. I held back tears, and emotion until late that night after everyone had gone to sleep, and I lay in my bed thinking of my departed friend.
The next morning I got my children dropped off at their school, and headed to the gym with the intention of releasing my anger in a positive way. As I worked out on the elliptical trainer I glimpsed my reflection in the television monitor attached to the machine, and noticed this rage in my eyes. I was angry, and my thoughts dwelled on this careless driver that had been driving the other vehicle. I was hoping that the District Attorney would persecute her to the fullest extent of the law; after all she had taken the life of a close friend, who was a father, a son, and an encouragement to all who knew him. I wanted to see this lady punished for taking the most precious gift that my friend had, his life. It was in that moment I heard these words ringing in my ears “if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” Matt 6:14-15 (NASB) This sent another chill up my spine, because I knew I had to forgive this person, a person I’ve never met, and most likely never will meet for her moment of neglect that killed my friend. I continued to wrestle with those words, thinking, and then justifying my anger but no matter what I came up with in my mind, it all came back to what Jesus said on the subject. I then thought about my friend, and just how much he love the Savior, and it occurred to me that if he could been there speaking to me he would have said “Arnold, you have to forgive her, because I already have.”
I learned an important lesson that morning, I learned that it is easier to stand behind a pulpit and tell people to forgive others, and they will be forgiven then it is to actually forgive others in your own life. Coming to grips with this made the loss more bearable.
